She's hugged President Barack Obama and taken a telephone call from Derek Jeter.
Now if Donna Soto could just connect with Mark Zuckerberg, the founder and CEO of Facebook.
Not that the heartbroken Stratford mom hasn't tried.
She would tell him about the dozens of unofficial tribute pages on the social networking website dedicated to her eldest daughter, Victoria, who was gunned down while shielding her first-grade students from a killer's bullets at Newtown's Sandy Hook Elementary School.
Many give the appearance that they were created by friends and loved ones of Soto, who was 27 and instantly heralded by the international media as a heroine.
Some have solicited donations in the names of victims, while others have been hijacked by so-called truthers who believe the worst elementary school shooting in U.S. history was a hoax.
"I understand some people have good intentions (and) some people say she is a public figure, but, to me, she is my daughter that was put in this awful position (and) she would never want to be a public figure and she would not want people making pages in her name," Soto said. "I know Vicki better than most, and she would hate this."
Soto, whose daughter was posthumously awarded the Presidential Citizens Medal at a White House ceremony earlier this month, said her efforts to get Facebook to intervene went nowhere, including a personal message to Zuckerberg.
Facebook spokesman Fred Wolens did not have statistics on how many page-removal requests the 900 million-member-strong website has received related to the Dec. 14 massacre in Newtown. He also could not say how many pages have been taken down.
"We will remove any page that is threatening or harassing, or violates our terms," Wolens said.
Wolens included a link to Facebook's user terms and complaints process for reporting objectionable material. He could not comment about specific pages or users.
Hearst Connecticut Newspapers found 103 tribute pages with some combination of Victoria Soto's name and R.I.P., for rest in peace. Requests for comment from the operators of the 15 most popular tribute pages -- those with the most fans or "likes" -- went unanswered. The cover photo on one page showed a pentagram with the words, "Satan Loves Me. R.I.P. Victoria Soto."
"That page is the worst," said Ryan Graney, who volunteered to help Soto's mother report offensive pages to Facebook and, in some cases, the FBI.
Graney has also been helping Kaitlin Roig, who is credited with saving the lives of 15 of her first-grade students by hiding them in a bathroom at Sandy Hook Elementary School. Roig, 29, who is from Greenwich, was a guest of Jill Biden at this month's State of the Union address. Roig has a pair of tribute pages dedicated to her, calling her a hero.
Roig spurned comparisons between herself and her six fallen colleagues, saying she doesn't think of herself as a hero.
"I did what needed to be done in a situation that nobody should ever be put in," Roig said.
A conspiracy theorist commenting on one of those pages posted a photo of a "crisis actress," to whom he claims Roig bears a striking resemblance.
"Having been a part of something extremely traumatic and horrific and reading people's just senseless comments about something they know nothing about is just disturbing and hurtful," Roig said.
She said that well-meaning tribute pages have gotten out of hand because their creators have failed to keep tabs on offensive comments. Roig even made a direct appeal to one, but to not avail.
"To whomever started this page ... thank you," Roig posted from her personal Facebook account. "The positive messages are AMAZING. Unfortunately coming on for the first time, I can't believe that anyone human would post such unkind words. Please, please cancel this page."
Graney, 31, a self-described Web nerd and Nashville transplant from upstate New York, met with Roig over coffee. She has never met Donna Soto, but sent her a message offering to help.
"She has been an invaluable resource for me and my family," Soto said. "Any time I have a site that I feel is a problem, I pass it on to her."
It has been an uphill battle for Graney, however.
"Facebook can't really do anything about it because it's considered free speech," she said.
Graney has publicly and privately pleaded with the operators of tribute sites to voluntarily remove them. She said she's even resorted to calling some of them after tracking down their contact information.
"This one woman responded and said, `No, I'm not taking it down,' " Graney said.
The page in question, dedicated to Victoria Soto, has more than 8,000 "likes," Graney said the creator told her.
"I was like, `Yeah, those likes are not for you. They're for someone who is gone,'" Graney said. "These people are trying to get Internet famous."
Graney said she reported a tribute page for Soto to the FBI because it was soliciting donations.
"They wouldn't tell me where the money was going," Graney said.
FBI Special Agent Dan Curtin, who is based in New Haven, said agency policy is not to disclose the number or nature of ongoing investigations to protect their integrity.
"We're aware of what's out there," Curtin said.
In December, a Bronx, N.Y., woman was arrested by federal law enforcement agents for using a Facebook account to raise money for a funeral fund for Noah Pozner, a 6-year-old victim of the massacre that she claimed was a relative.
"There's a lot of concern amongst the families in Newtown about some very disturbing traffic online, whether it's people trying to profit off the tragedy or people on the fringes of society who are trying to deny its existence in the first place," said U.S. Sen. Chris Murphy, D-Conn.
Murphy characterized claims that the mass shooting was staged as "unconscionable lies.
"I think there's a tension between trying to call out these lies for what they are and giving them more attention than they deserve," said Murphy, a former member of the House whose district included Newtown.
U.S. Sen. Richard Blumenthal, D-Conn., said that Facebook has been responsive when he has raised concerns about illicit material such as pornography in the past as the state's longtime attorney general.
"We have received some complaints and concerns," Blumenthal said. "Certainly, some of the websites are troubling. My hope is the privacy and grieving of the families will be respected."
Donna Soto created an official tribute page for her slain daughter, which had nearly 40,000 "likes" as of Friday. The address is http://www.facebook.com/VictoriaLeighSoto26
She posts photos of Victoria and her siblings on there, as well as images of flamingos that caught her daughter's fancy.
"Having this page for Vicki is a diversion for me," Soto said. "I love to read the comments from people all over the country and world telling me how my daughter has changed the way people think, or that people have changed their career path because of her."
Not all of Soto's encounters are a source of comfort, however.
"I get a lot of horrible postings saying that Sandy Hook was a hoax," Soto said. "If I don't get on the page quickly, people respond and comment and it goes back and forth. I try not to ever respond to these people. They don't deserve my time and I think it makes it worse. I have banned many, many people. One negative comment, and I ban them from the page."
Even Soto's status updates on Facebook have become fodder, much to her distress.
"I also put a status on Facebook asking if anyone had any ties to One Direction -- it is a boy band that a little girl I know likes and I thought if someone could get her an autographed picture that would be great," Soto said. "I was attacked for wanting to meet celebrities. I could care less about celebrities. At this point, nothing matters in my life right now, except my family. My daughter was killed protecting her 6-year-old kids in a good school in a good town doing what she loved to do. No celebrity or amount of money will ever be important to me. I don't care about it. My daughter, my pride and joy, the best daughter a mom could ask for, is gone."
Roig, who attended Victoria Soto's wake, commiserated with her mother.
"It's a shame that you would have to endure any more pain after going through that," Roig said.
neil.vigdor@scni.com; 203-625-4436; http://twitter.com/gettinviggy
Source: http://www.ctpost.com/news/article/Pressure-mounts-on-Facebook-to-remove-rogue-4301995.php
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